Jokes

''Went Christmas shopping this morning, got pushed around, fondled, pinched, rubbed against, stepped on. Enjoyed it so much I'm going back there tomorrow..

''It was so cold this morning I had to scrape ice off the car windshield with my store discount card, But I only got 10 per cent off!!

''Love me or Hate me. Both are in my favor, If you Love me I'll always be in your Heart ,, and if you Hate me I'll always be in your Mind.

''I see it's the inventor of the boomerangs Birthday today. Can i be the first to wish him 'Many Happy Returns'

''My husband and I walked past a swanky new restaurant this afternoon "Did you smell that food, it smelt incredible he said. Being the nice girlie I am I thought stuff it I'll treat him"
So we walked past it again..

''If it weren't for airlines we'd be up to our ears in honey roasted peanuts.

''My favourite drink is a cocktail of carrot juice and whisky. I am always drunk but I can see for miles."

Our first frost yesterday morning, had to scrap the windscreen for the first time!